They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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