I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
