In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize