So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
