My sheets look like a crime scene.
this boner is exhausting
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
