You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
