Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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