Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
