Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
