i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
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