i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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