He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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