We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize