I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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