Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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