you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Randomize
