Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
my liver is dry heaving
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
