dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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