I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize