I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
