I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
nutella sex= disaster
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I am available for nakedness
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
