Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
