worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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