3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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