And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Randomize
