he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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