I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
