theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Randomize
