then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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