I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
