Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
