My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
