Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
