yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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