So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
