oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
