I accidentally burped into my bong.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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