best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
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