just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
