He asked me if I "almost moaned"
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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