then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
