sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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