Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
