We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize