On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i just wanna soil my oats bro
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
