Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
When did angry sex become our thing?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
