dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
