don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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