i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
