did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
