i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
there was a trapeze. enough said
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
