People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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