Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
