I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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