I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
