So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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