I wanna bring you to show and tell
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
