New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
