WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
