Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
