he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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