so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
