Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
