Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
