I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I don't want my vagina anymore.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
