apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
